When to Sleep Train

One of the most common questions I’m asked is ‘When should I sleep train my baby?’ and to be fair its a really good question. Sadly as parents we’re constantly bombarded with images and captions and videos portraying the ‘perfect’ baby and ‘perfect’ families. All this really does is convince us that we’re doing something wrong, that there is something ‘not right’ with our own babies, and that we’ve somehow failed as a parent if our own lives don’t stand up to such silly standards. One of the biggest markers of ‘success’ is whether or not our babies sleep through, and as a generation we’ve become obsessed with it. Where are the messages that let parents know its completely normal for their baby to wake through the night? Where is the support that helps, rather than berates? Where is the guidance on exactly how much sleep a baby really needs? Gentle sleep training has its place, and this week we’re looking at when to sleep train to benefit your baby, your family and your wellbeing- and not to keep up appearances.

When to sleep train…

Sorry, but there is no definite answer to this! That’s not what you wanted to hear, is it? But please keep on reading, as I explain why this is the case.

There are many factors that come in to play when we start to look at when to sleep train. When I start to work with a new family, one of the first things I do is to ask them to keep a sleep diary. This helps to establish what’s happening, and what would be beneficial to the family as a whole. The main point I look at when deciding when is best to sleep train is your child’s personality.

YOUR unique child

Your child is unique. I always assess their unique personality and their unique needs before deciding when is the best time to sleep train. Every child has their own unique temperament which hugely affects how they sleep, and how they may respond to sleep training. Your child’s personality also determines when sleep training would be most effective too. We can’t change your child’s personality (nor would we want to!) but we can work with it, which is good news all round. Take the temperament quiz now to get a better understanding of your child’s sleep needs.

As a general rule, children who are more easy going may take well to sleep training a little earlier than children who are a little more ‘difficult. Sometimes easy going children can start sleep training as early as 4 months, as long as the technique is gentle. More spirited children really don’t benefit from sleep training until they are at least 6 months old, or older- again, using gentle techniques only.

Gentle sleep training 

I only ever advocate gentle sleep training techniques and I don’t believe that any child really benefits from being left to cry it out. Certainly babies younger than six months will not respond or deal well with being left to cry, and spirited children of an older age more so. In my experience, leaving a child to cry is not only stressful for babies, but for parents too- if there is no need to do it, then don’t put yourself through it. Get in touch if you need any help or advice with my gentle sleep training techniques.