Safe Bed Sharing

Most parents whose baby sleeps in their bed didn’t plan on bed sharing before it happened.

I recently asked bed sharers on Facebook if they had intended on bed sharing. The vast majority of people had no plans on bed sharing and ended up bed sharing out of necessity. Only when they realized that bed sharing gave everyone an easier night’s sleep did they plan to bed share moving forward and created a safe sleep space.

How many nights were those babies sleeping in an unsafe bed sharing environment before the bed was made safe?

I don’t want to shame parents at all. I did the same thing when my son was born. I realized if I brought him into bed with me after a 3 am wake up, he would sleep a little easier, which in turn meant that I, too, slept a little easier.

I always encourage expectant families to create a safe bed sharing set-up even if they don’t plan on bed sharing. A study shows that 68% of infants between 2 and 9 months old have at some point shared a bed with a parent.

It is safer for your child to sleep in your (safe) bed than you fall asleep with them on a chair or a sofa.

So, how can you create a safe bed?

Make sure everyone who sleeps in the bed is on-board; this is a family decision.
Ensure your mattress is clean and firm. That means no memory foam, air mattress or water bed (does anyone sleep on a waterbed anymore? Please let me know if you do.)
There should be no gaps between the mattress and headboard or wall.
Keep pets and siblings off the bed.
Make sure there are no long ties on anything you’re wearing.
Tie back long hair.
Baby shouldn’t be swaddled.
Baby should sleep on their back.

There are circumstances when you shouldn’t bed share as the risk of SIDS, or SUID is significantly increased.

If you or your partner smoke.
If you smoked during pregnancy.
If anyone sleeping in the bed takes medications or drugs, that makes them sleep heavily.
If anyone sleeping in the bed has drunk alcohol.
If your baby was born before 37 weeks or weighed under 2.15 kg or 5.15 lb at birth.

If bed sharing makes you feel uncomfortable, you may want to consider a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed. A co-sleeper makes it easier to get, feed your baby, and pop them back down during the night, and they’re sleeping in their own sleep space.

If you’re a Slumber Academy member, please check out the Safe Bed Sharing masterclass.