Sleep Solutions: Dealing with a Newborn Who Will Only Nap Whilst Being Held
Many newborn babies have a strong preference for being held while sleeping. This can pose a challenge for parents who may feel touched out and overwhelmed. It is not uncommon for infants to rely on being cradled in someone’s arms to nap peacefully. This behavior can be attributed to their instinctual need for closeness, security and the comfort of warmth, and gentle motion. While it may feel exhausting, it is important to remember that this is just a phase that babies eventually grow out of as they become more independent sleepers. In the meantime, there are strategies you can try to encourage your baby to nap without being held.
Let’s see if we can transition your baby to the crib or bassinet. You may have tried this, and your baby wakes as soon as they touch the mattress or as soon as they move away from your body. Don’t panic! I have some tips for successfully laying your child down in their bed.
Start by holding your little one until they are deeply asleep, at least 10 minutes, then slowly and carefully transfer them to their bassinet or crib. As soon as you have laid your baby down, place your hands on them for a few minutes. You should jiggle them a little and even shush. It doesn’t matter how stealthy you are laying your child down, the movement will begin to bring them into a lighter sleep. If you try to transfer as soon as they have fallen asleep, coming into the lighter sleep will instantly wake them. Waiting until they are in a slightly deeper sleep will help them transfer to the bed without waking, and then being hands-on will help them back into a deeper sleep.
You may find that swaddling your child helps you get them lying in bed. They will keep the snug feeling even when away from your body.
Look at how you’re holding your baby and helping them to sleep. If you hold them upright against your chest with their head against your shoulder, the difference they feel when you lay them flat on their back in bed will be huge and may wake them. When holding your baby uprights against you, there is a warm pressure against their tummy, and they’re positioned vertically. Now, there is nothing wrong with helping your baby sleep this way, but when they’ve fallen asleep or are getting ready to fall asleep, try moving them to a more horizontal position. You can even lay them back a little on your legs (continue to hold them securely), so they’re comfortable lying on their back before you move them to their bed.
If your baby is already used to being held upright for sleep, this may take some practice. If so, start moving them horizontally when they are in a deep sleep and don’t attempt to lay them down, hold them for the nap. After a few days, they will be more used to napping lying down, and you should be able to transfer them to their bed.
As your baby gets used to napping in their bed, their naps may be short. That’s okay. Practice makes progress. The more time your baby has napping in their bed, the easier it will be for them and the longer they will nap. Don’t expect them to perfect this skill on the first attempt.
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